Turbo Chicken Wrangler 3000

Other - Other / All Types

Designed for high-performance poultry management, the Turbo Chicken Wrangler 3000 tackles runaway hens, stubborn roosters, and general barnyard chaos with unmatched efficiency. Not recommended for actual farming, serious customers, or anyone lacking a sense of humor.

TEST ITEM — DO NOT RENT. Any attempt to reserve this machine may result in being assigned chicken duty.

Purchase

Per Unit

$0.05

Specifications

chicken CapacityUp to 18 standard hens or 6 emotionally complicated roosters

Top Wrangling Speed14 chickens per minute

Corn Fuel Capacity50 lbs

Net Reach12ft

Rooster Resistance RatingExtreme

Cluck Detection Range75ft

Escapee Recovery ModeAutomatic

Coop CompatibilityUniversal-ish

Operator RequirementMust not be afraid of flapping

Noise LevelSomewhere between “farm” and “chaos”

Terrain RatingBarnyard, pasture, gravel, questionable mud

Emergency FeaturesPanic button labeled “NOT THE ROOSTER”

Recommended PPEBoots, gloves, and dignity you’re willing to lose

WarrantyVoid if challenged by a goose

Turbo Chicken Wrangler 3000

Specifications

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